Congrats! now that you are a new Dad, here are six nuggets of wisdom a new mom needs you to know, without having her tell you explicitly.
1. Be considerate: Like you she is also a first-time parent who is bound to fumble while bringing up your child. Just because she has popped the baby out of her body doesn’t mean she is expected to know everything about raising a newborn; so don’t give her those looks or sighs when she can’t figure out baby-related stuff and remember to hold your tongue before you are tempted to ask (which most men do) “why the baby is crying so much?” ( babies cry, that’s how they communicate! ) . It’s better if you try to work things out together instead of sitting like a mute spectator or criticizing the new mom on her parenting skills.
2. Help her, even when she doesn’t ask: If your wife is struggling with breastfeeding, either you help her get a nice latch or take her to lactation consultant or Gynae care clinic ; show her you care. Try giving her small breaks from the routine by helping her in whatever small ways you can; you can offer to do simple household chores like laundry, cleaning up the messy house or fixing the breakfast. Take your baby out of the house for a walk so your partner can eat peacefully or catch up on her sleep. This will help her to recuperate better and sooner.
If you can’t wake up in middle of nights to soothe your crying baby because of work commitments, take turns at least on weekends or on a holiday.
In between taking care of the baby and house, your wife might not keep a track of her eating habits; it would be nice if you do that for her.
3. Say nice things to her: Yes, you have to be extra sweet towards the new mom during her postpartum period. It might sound alien to you, but it’s quite natural for a new mother to go through emotional upheaval and bouts of depression after giving birth to child; after all, she has just lost her pre-baby routine, is overwhelmed with her bodily changes, hormonal changes makes her moody and not to mention the after-birth pains she experience at times. What can you do? Never pass a comment which sounds hurtful. Instead, shower her with lots of compliment, appreciate all her efforts and tell how amazing she is (like you mean it).
4.Try bonding with the baby; right from day one. Just like everyone expects a woman to be a great mother, she expects you also to be a great father. You can try to bond with the baby by holding him, playing with him, cleaning his poop, feeding him and taking him out for long walks. Seeing you embracing fatherhood with full enthusiasm will boost her confidence too.
5. Your needs will take a backseat: Once the baby arrives your wife may want less sex (or no sex at all!) in the beginning but no worries, she still loves you. And mind you, its not just the physical intimacy which takes a hit; she might not even bother to take care of your other needs; so please forget that she would offer you a glass of water or a lavish dinner when you are back from office. In fact, at times you have to find your way in to the kitchen and help yourself.
6. Limit the visitors: Dear Dad, post-delivery a new mom doesn’t need audience while she is feeding or taking a nap with the baby. She is recuperating and in no mood to entertain family or friends. It’s better if you tell all relatives and neighbors to wait for a while before mother and baby are ready to meet.
P.S Although I am not a new-mom, but a trip down memory lane prompted me to write this piece. I really wish each husband should support his wife to best of his abilities after having their newborn.
This post originally appeared on Momspresso.